In A Day
by ReneesWings
Summary: -Sequel to Bricks of Clay- Things never go quite the way you plan. People die, memories are forgotten, friendships fade. But sometimes, just sometimes, someone pulls you back.
1. Chapter 1

**Its a sequel! (Dance dance dance dance!)**

**2 important things to know before starting this story-  
**

**1. Sequel to Bricks of Clay. You will be so confused if you read this first. If you want to be confused, go for it! I don't judge.**

**2. This is not slash, but it is a heterosexual Life partner story. For those of you who are a little unsure of what that is, heterosexual life partner is defines as "****Two extremely close friends or partners, of the same gender, who are as close or closer than a romantic couple. They aren't romantically linked, but they might suffer withdrawals from not being around each other.****"**

**I hope that clears things up for you. **

**Read and be happy! Or cranky. Or sleepy. Whatever suits your fancy.**

_"What the hell are you doing?" _

_His voice was amused and slightly smothered as if hidden behind a hand. _

_"What's it look like DiNozzo?" He growled reaching up and trying to jerk the curtain off the rod. _

_"Well, it looks like you're hanging from the shower curtain. I could be wrong though, happens on occasion."_

_Gibbs rolled his eyes and braced his feet against the wall. He just needed some leverage…_

_"Is this some kind of marine training exercise?" Tony asked, kneeling next to the bathtub and tilting his head so that he could meet his eyes as the older man was now hanging partially upside down. "Cause I'm suddenly picturing a whole bunch of buzz cuts wrestling with rubber ducky themed shower curtains."_

_Gibbs snagged the top of the curtain and gave it a sharp tug. It didn't budge. _

_"You're the one who gave me the stupid thing. Damn ducks." Gibbs twisted and found himself facing the floor with his feet now up in the air, the plastic curtain somehow holding his entire weight. _

_"I love ducks." Tony said with no inflection, but Gibbs could still tell he was smiling. "Besides, find another curtain that could hold you up like that."_

_Gibbs couldn't take it anymore. He swung his arm out and hit Tony's side with frustration. "DiNozzo!"_

_Tony laughed and stepped forward, his hand sliding under Gibbs' shoulders as he climbed on the edge of the bathtub. The curtain was twisted several times over his left foot, then wrapped on his knee, forcing his leg to bend and cross over his right leg, tangling them both. _

_"Honestly though, how did you manage this? This is a whole new level of how the hell."_

_Gibbs sighed as he let his head fall back on Tony's thigh, giving up on staying upright. _

_"There's a slight possibility that I wasn't quite…together when I came in the bathroom."_

_Tony paused, suddenly understanding. Gibbs could hear him swallow as he forced lightness in his voice. "You know, when I get drunk I just pass out on your sofa, I don't go boxing with shower curtains. How long have you been like this?"_

_Gibbs relaxed, the edges of his mouth twitching up with gratitude at what Tony wasn't saying. He ignored the second question and focused on seeing straight as all the blood rushed to his head._

_"I figure you make my life so difficult at work, I might as well complicate yours at home."_

_Tony sighed. "Now that hurts Jethro."_

_Tony found the right twist and pulled gently and Gibbs suddenly slipped from the grasp of the duck covered cloth. Tony gasped as Gibbs' weight crashed into him, knocking both of them into the bathtub. _

_Tony let his head lay on the bottom of the tub. "You know, this never happened when I was at Baltimore."_

Gibbs woke with a gasp.

_What was that?_

He rolled to his side and looked at the bedside clock, groaning when he saw that it was approaching three in the morning. Gibbs sat up, holding his head in his hands and letting his upper body lean on his knees.

When he told Tony he wanted his memories back, he had hoped they would come in some kind of order, or at least make sense.

Not ducks and bathtubs and tackling his SFA into a bathtub.

Although, comparatively, he preferred this to the nightmares.

He started to lay back down when something bitter and familiar drifted under his door.

Gibbs swiveled and pushed himself out of bed.

Someone was making coffee.

Coffee.

He stumbled towards the door, opening it and breathing in deeply.

Coffee.

Gibbs walked silently down the hall, intent on discovering why someone was in his kitchen so late and, more importantly, getting a mug.

He made it to the top of the stairs when he paused and turned back around, something playing just on the edge of his mind. He quietly crept to the bathroom and stood outside of it for a never ending moment. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open.

Rubber ducky shower curtain. It looked slightly longer in the middle, as if something had stretched it out.

Gibbs swallowed tightly and turned away, heading back to his kitchen.

The percolator was popping, coffee bubbling in the pot. The scent permeated the room, making it feel warm and familiar in the cool fall night.

"You know, I hate coffee. I started drinking it when you were gone, but it always tasted awful. Somehow though, I can't stop making it."

Gibbs spun and furrowed his eyebrows when he saw Tony curled in a dining room chair, holding a steaming mug in his hands.

"I don't know if it's the smell, making me think of…" Tony trailed off, letting a finger run over the rim of the mug. "My dad loves coffee. Hardly ever drinks it though. When I was kid I knew it was going to be a quiet day whenever he started his morning with a mug. A good day."

Tony's eyes had a faraway look and Gibbs' attention was drawn to the bottle of pain meds he was spinning on the table.

_He reacts badly to pain medication. Makes him loopy. Or morose._

The knowledge hit him roughly, no memories attached, just a complete and total knowing.

Gibbs nodded and poured himself a mug before sliding into the chair across from Tony. There were dark circles under Tony's eyes, his face was pale and drawn. Gibbs eyed his long fingers playing with the bottle. The digits were thinner than they should have been. The knuckles wide against the tight skin. Gibbs forced his gaze away and attempted to focus on something else.

"Why did it mean the day would be quiet?" he asked, grabbing on the first thing he could.

Tony slowly blinked at him, as if he just realized that Gibbs was there. "Haven't we already talked about this?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Not that I can remember."

Tony frowned at him, then, suddenly, smiled. "Oh yeah. You don't remember anything. Your head got blown up. Boom." Gibbs winced and Tony tightened his grip on his mug, staring somewhere into the distance over Gibbs' shoulder. There was a breath of silence before Tony began to speak again. "My dad was a drinker. Not like you. The bad kind. All the time. Slammed doors, shouted, broke…" Tony waved his hand around absently, "things. Whenever he had coffee he was coming off a vicious hangover and would stick to his study all day. Wouldn't drink that night. It would be… quiet." He sighed at the last word as if quiet was the most precious thing he had ever come across. "It's never quiet anymore. There's always something. A complaint, some anger, more orders. Lies, a threat, screaming… Never quiet."

Gibbs held his mug close to him, unsure of how to respond, how to react to the fuzzy honesty. How he would have reacted, if the world was spinning on like it should. He looked around himself aimlessly for a moment before blurting out- "Did you give me the duck shower curtain?"

Tony's head shot up form his contemplation of his still full mug of coffee, meeting Gibbs' eyes for the first time since he showed up in the kitchen. "You needed a new one. The ducks made you smile when we passed it in the store."

"Oh." Gibbs still felt something here was missing. "Did I get stuck in it?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "You get stupid when you're drunk." He picked up the bottle of pills and studied them closely. "Does this say one every two to four hours or two to four every hour?"

Gibbs' eyes widened slightly and he leaned forward, snatching the bottle from Tony's hands. "How about you let me worry about this for a while?"

Tony shrugged and took a sip of the coffee before grimacing. "This tastes like shit."

Gibbs snorted and placed his mug on the table. "You make awful coffee."

He stepped over to Tony and gently grabbed his arm. "Let's go back to bed okay?"

Tony looked at him for an endless beat of time and then nodded. Gibbs smiled at him and carefully helped him to his feet, ever mindful of his bandaged legs.

"I took your Ray Charles album."

Gibbs started as he began to lead Tony out of the room. "I have Ray Charles albums? I don't like blues."

Tony gave him a look and sighed. "You didn't. But then you did."

Gibbs frowned and helped him up the stairs. "I hate the blues."

Tony laughed once, sharp and tired. "You are the blues."

"Oh." How can you respond to that? "Why did you take them?"

Tony shrugged. "Why does anyone do anything?"

With that bit of wisdom, Gibbs pushed open the door to Tony's room. It looked different than he remembered. The original guest room was tan, red quilt on the bed and bare walls. It was supposed to be Shannon's project. A room she was going to create. He didn't remember her finished product. The room didn't feel like her touch though.

Pale blue walls with framed black and white photographs. A dark green comforter. White washed bookcases in the corner. Duct taped bean bag chair in squished between them and the wall.

It was strange and eclectic and unfamiliar.

But Tony relaxed as they walked through the door and he made a beeline to the bed. Dropping to the mattress he sighed deeply, curling his battered legs up to his chest. Gibbs felt something hollow and tired stir in his chest and he drew the blankets over the young man's frame.

He dropped his hand on top of Tony's shaggy hair and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Goodnight Tony."

He started out of the room when Tony's quiet voice called him back. "Gibbs. I'm not going to remember this in the morning."

Gibbs paused, waiting. Knowing something was coming.

Tony hesitated and turned so his bright eyes pinned Gibbs in place. "I miss you."

He hurt. Deep down further than anyone could touch. He hurt.

Tony's eyes fluttered closed and Gibbs grabbed the door edge, gripping it tightly till he believed the wood would splinter.

"I miss you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there! Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out, I'm a bit distracted recently. Had a job interview for a nice position in a great company so I've been more than a little absent minded. Hopefully I can start getting things out at a faster pace though. Not a ton happens here, just some exploring of emotions and getting the boys pointed in the direction I need them. Things will actually start to happen in the next chapter or so. Hope you read anyway, sorry for the lack of excitement! Have an awesome one! **

**~Renee**

_"__No."_

_"__But Gibbs!"_

_"__No."_

_He was not caving on this. No. This was his line. No._

_"But l__ook at him." Bright green eyes suddenly met his, echoing the matching set inches behind the fuzzy head. "He's purring." Tony said, gently pushing the cat closer to him. _

_"__Tony, we're not getting a cat."_

_Tony's eyes widened. "Jethro."_

_No. No. No no no no no no no. He didn't like cats. No. _

_Tony widened his eyes and cradled the tiny creature to his chest. _

_No. He had a rule about pets. No. _

_"__Please?"_

_Gibbs sighed. This was pointless. "If it destroys my woodwork…"_

_Tony's smile split his cheeks and he artfully dropped the kitten on Gibbs' shoulder. The cat rumbled and rubbed his face on Gibbs' ear. _

_"__DiNozzo… what's it doing?"_

_Tony grabbed Gibbs' wrist and led him back towards the car. "Claiming you."_

Tony stretched out on the couch, his legs looped over the back and feet pressed against the window. The sun was warm through the glass, relieving the ever-present ache in his calves. He rubbed his chest absently and stared up at the ceiling. The house was quiet. Empty.

That morning Gibbs had met him in the hallway with wide eyes. He stuttered for a moment and then muttered something about groceries before stealing down the stairs and out the front door. Tony had watched him go impassively and then carefully made his way to the living room. He'd been like that lately. Like he was lost. Or frightened.

Tony buried his hands in the soft cushion underneath him, relishing the way his body sank into the battered couch. He knew this where he should probably stay, his legs were supposed to be rested, not worked going up and down the staircase everyday but the thought of being stuck in the main room without ever having a promised moment of silence was unbearable.

And to always be in Gibbs' line of sight.

He winced.

The way Gibbs looked at him…

Tony closed his eyes tightly.

This was a bad idea. He knew that the moment he climbed into Gibbs' car. When he felt the seatbelt tighten and Gibbs had pulled carefully into traffic, slow and steady and cautious.

Wrong.

Then they had come to the house. There was still a fine coating of dust on the floorboards, evident that Gibbs hadn't even entered the house since he had come back. The basement door hadn't been opened. No traces of sawdust being tracked.

Tony turned his head and looked towards the hall and imagined the should be open door. He knew that basement better than any other place in the world. The scent of bourbon and dust and grease. Muffled laughter and hushed words.

There was a dent in the door now. A crack running up the wood. A splinter that based itself from a crater the size of Tony's fist.

Gibbs hadn't noticed. Hadn't even looked at the door.

"What am I doing?" he murmured.

"Something stupid. Probably."

Tony started then instantly relaxed, not turning from his study of the hall.

"Hey Tobias."

"Tony."

The man let the door shut quietly behind him and approached the figure half curled on the sofa. The cushion dipped down as Tobias sat near Tony's bent legs. He winced looking at them, the bandages were creased and what little skin that was revealed was angry and inflamed. He needed them rewrapped.

"What are you doing here? Thought the FBI was sending you out to liaison in the LA case?"

Tobias blinked and his eyes shot Tony's face. "You aren't supposed to know that. How do you know that?"

Tony's lips twitched up. "Have a friend in the LAPD, he's liaising for the NCIS office there."

Tobias waited for a moment but Tony didn't offer anything else. "Why does the NCIS-LA office know FBI movements?"

Tony's grin blew into a full smile. "You have any idea who runs the LA office? If you're coming into her city, she knows before you buy the plane ticket."

Tobias raised hi eyebrows. "Huh, I'll remember that."

Tony nodded and settled back into silence. Tobias let it set for a moment while he studied the younger man. He was still too thin, Gibbs hadn't been forcing food on him. Still too nervous to push him away. He was pale as well. His natural tan had faded and his eyes were dull. Tired.

"How's Emily?"

Tony turned slowly, trying to get his feet to rest on the floor but Tobias wrapped a gentle hand on his ankle. Tony paused and stared at him wide eyed as Tobias rested his legs across his lap. The older man met his eyes and shrugged as he settled back on the sofa.

"She's good. Apparently planning a big surprise for you." His hands lifted up in the air before Tony could say anything. "Don't ask me, she's keeping it under tight wraps."

"Tobias Fornell, a top agent for the FBI and he can't crack his elementary school daughter."

"Shut up Tony."

He laughed and Tobias watched as some of the tension leaked away.

"So how's everything going here?"

Tony's smile dimmed. "I think he's scared of me. Or of what he's remembering. Bits and pieces are coming back to him and… I think they're not what he expected. I'm not what he expected."

Tobias sighed. "He's trying kid."

Tony rolled his eyes at the moniker but didn't protest it. "I know. Sometimes I wonder if he should though. Maybe he'd be happier if…" Tony shook his head. "I don't know. I know he wants things the way they used to be, but if he knew exactly what he thinks he wants, I wonder if he really would."

Before Tobias could sort out that sentence Tony stretched and grimaced. "So Emily asked me my opinion on hippopotamuses when she called yesterday…"

xxx

Gibbs sat in his car, his hands tracing over the worn leather wheel.

Tony was inside.

Waiting for him.

His stomach churned.

What was he doing?

He didn't know what he expected. To step across the threshold with Tony by his side and suddenly remember. To know the big heavy things. The days after Kelly and Shannon's death. Finding Mike. Meeting Tony.

Honestly, he would shave settled for the smaller things as well.

The color of Kate's eyes. McGee's nervous stutter.

Tony's laugh.

He could hear it, echo through dreams. Just on the edge of memory.

But he hadn't heard it. Not since coming back. Not the real thing.

He sighed. The groceries were in the back, milk was growing warm despite the cool fall afternoon.

He needed to get out of the car.

He needed to go inside.

He needed to see Tony.

He was scared.

He didn't even know of what anymore. The ache in his chest when he met Tony's eyes and there was a lash of emotion that the younger man could never quite bury. Something fierce and longing and full of pain. Something he recognized but couldn't put a name to. Maybe it was the way he flinched away from his touch whenever he tried to help. As if the mere contact was causing him more distress than whatever Gibbs was trying to help him with.

He was scared of hurting him. Of hurting himself. Of getting this wrong. Of never being able to find the man who hovered in the cobwebbed corners of his memory.

He was scared of himself.

xxx

Tony was asleep. His eyes had been growing heavy during Tobias' stories. Emily had kept his chock full of interesting tales that he was all too happy to pass on to Tony. His voice had grown softer and slower as Tony's lashes fluttered down and stayed still.

Tobias pursed his lips. He didn't realize how labored Tony's breathing was until he was unconscious. The pneumonia was slowly being worked out of his system with a ridiculous amount of antibiotics, but he could still see the fear on his face when he struggled to get a full breath. The film that would cover his eyes when he gasped, his mind obviously in a different time. A different struggle.

he turned his head, shying away from the imagined look on his friend's face.

It was quiet. Tobias relaxed against the sofa and let his thoughts drift. Tony had never let the subject go back to Gibbs. He avoided it in all the ways he could, his voice bright and distracting as he skipped around his former boss. Tobias closed his eyes. He knew Gibbs was trying, knew he wanted to make things better. But what was it people said about good intentions?

The door creaked and Tobias winced even as he stiffened, his torso curling protectively over the sleeping NCIS agent.

It shut with a quiet snap and then Gibbs stepped into the light, grocery bags draped over his arm.

The man started and his brow furrowed as he looked at the two on his couch.

"Fornell?"

Tobias put a finger to his lips and carefully eased himself out from under Tony.

Gibbs gathered his mouth to the side and then headed into the kitchen, trusting the agent to follow.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he began to stack groceries in the fridge.

Tobias shrugged and leaned against the wall.

"Checking on the kid. Haven't seen him in a few days. Getting ready to go to California, didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

Gibbs turned slowly, fear obvious on his face in a way Tobias had never seen before. "You're leaving?"

"Just for a bit. Heading out as a consult for the LA branch. Shouldn't be gone more than a week."

Gibbs' lips flattened into a thin frown. "Oh."

"Everything all right?"

Gibbs looked away for a moment, his hands opening and closing. "Yeah. Everything's great."

Tobias nodded understandingly. "I'm sure. Look Gibbs…Jethro." He waited until the harsh blue eyes were level with his own. "You don't have to be scared. Tony wants you to remember. He wants to help. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore than you do. It's okay."

Gibbs opened his mouth, his face sharp and angry, but in an instant, the outrage drained away and he let his weight lean on the kitchen counter.

"I don't want to hurt him Tobias, what if I can't remember? What if I never find what I'm missing?"

Tobias shrugged and pushed himself off the wall. He approached Gibbs slowly and put his hands on his shoulder.

"What if you do? Talk to him Gibbs. Stop hiding. Stop running. Just talk to him."

"But-"

"Gibbs. If you don't know anything else, know this. That man in there was your best friend. Before Mike, Ducky and me, he was your first choice. The first one you turned to. If you can't grab hold of anything else, take this, he hasn't changed. Not where it counts. Keep your eyes open. He'll surprise you."

xxx

Director Shepherd stood before the board, his hands tight against her side.

Their voices were a quiet murmur, debating her fate. That FBI agent who had been sniffing around DiNozzo had reported her for misconduct and now her job, her very future in law enforcement was being decided.

She clenched her fingers.

Damn him.

Agent Fornell for sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

Gibbs for coming back and getting himself in the middle of the situation.

DiNozzo for not doing what he was told.

Damn them all.

"Ms. Shepherd?"

She straightened. "Director Shepherd." She corrected automatically.

"I'm afraid not Ms. Shepherd."

Damn them all.

xxx

_Just talk to him._

Talk to him.

Just.

Just talk.

Gibbs slammed his head against the closet door. It shouldn't be that hard.

Talking.

Point A to point B.

Why couldn't he get this?

He took another swig of the bourbon and spun around, watching as the room twirled marvelously in the bright sunshine.

He should have stayed in Mexico.

It was so damn easy in Mexico. Just Mike and bourbon. No pressures, no responsibility, no talking.

He took another drink and felt the heat wash down his throat.

This was all DiNozzo's fault.

_DiNozzo._

Gibbs huffed and stumbled from the room.

He didn't understand it. He could remember leading the team. Could remember moments and feeling and roles.

But not the people.

And it was the people, bizarrely enough, that he wanted.

Gibbs staggered down the stairs and spotted Tony sleeping on the couch, the warm afternoon sun coating the hardwood floors and a blanket pooled at his feet.

"Hey!" he yelled.

Tony stirred but didn't wake up, his head still groggy from the medication Tobias had forced on him before he left.

Gibbs frowned and poked Tony hard in the shoulder. "Hey! DiNozzo!"

Tony started and tried to open his eyes, confusion and exhaustion warring for control.

"This is all your damn fault!"

Tony could smell the liquor, he could feel the looming presence of someone standing over him while he was flat on his back and the words were echoing in his ear.

_Your fault. It's your fault. Your fault._

Tony flinched backwards. Hard. His hands flung up to protect his head and his body curled inwards, ignoring the pained protests of his legs.

Gibbs froze. Tony was shaking on the sofa, his face hidden from view and

quiet little gasps of air whistling through his lips.

"Tony?"

The young man's breathing hitched but he made no sound.

"Tony... you okay?" Gibbs asked, just as confused. He wasn't mad anymore. He didn't remember why he was mad in the first place. And Tony was… afraid? Did he scare Tony?

Gibbs dropped to his knees and poked Tony again, this time infinitely more gently, if not more clumsy.

"Tony?"

The man shuddered and slowly uncurled. "Gibbs. What the actual hell is wrong with you?"

His face twisted. "I don't know." He dropped his head on the couch next toTony's hip and draped an arm over the other man's waist.

He was confused.

He was tired.

He didn't know.

Tony hesitated and then slowly placed his hand on the back of Gibbs' neck.

"Okay. It's okay. It's all going to be... worked out. Talk to me."

Talk to him. Gibbs snuffed, suddenly finding his nose full of goo. He wanted to talk. For once in his life he wanted to talk. But damn it all if he didn't know what he wanted to talk about.

"Why were you scared?"

Tony didn't answer for a long moment and then he murmured so quietly that Gibbs had to strain to hear him. "You reminded me of someone."

"Oh." He could understand that. He was bothered by things he remembered all the time. "Tobias said I should talk to you."

Tony smiled to himself. Of course he did.

"Is this your version of talking? Getting smashed at two in the afternoon?"

Gibbs shrugged and looked up at Tony. His face was still pale in the bright sunshine and Gibbs couldn't tell if it was the fright or the sick.

"I don't know. Is it?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

Tony's lips twitched. "Sometimes. I'd like to think you would talk to me the normal way though."

"Did we talk a lot? Before I forgot?"

Tony's eyes grew distant. "Yes. All the time. Even when we weren't speaking, we were talking."

Gibbs blinked, trying to make sense of that. "I thought I was a... what did you call it? Functional Mute?"

Tony's smile spiked. He remembered.

"Yeah."

"And you were my loyal St. Bernard."

Tony let out of breath of amused air. "That's me."

Gibbs nodded, "I must have really liked you."

Tony's eyes were wet but his voice was level when he said, "You did."

"You liked me?"

Tony smile changed into a warm, fond grin, he felt slightly like he was having a conversation with a fourth grader.

"Yeah Jethro. I liked you too."

"Good. I miss you. But I don't know how not to. How to fix it."

"We'll figure it out, Gibbs. I miss you too."

Gibbs sighed in contentment. Then his face scrunched together. "Tony?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to throw up."

Tony stared for half a second then moved with a speed that a disconnected part of Gibbs' brain disagreed with.

Tony hobbled forward, pulling Gibbs up and letting the man lean on him as they made their way to the rest-room.

"Thank you for not throwing up on me." He muttered as he tried his best to keep Gibbs from tumbling into the toilet.

Once he was finished, Gibbs leaned back, taking comfort in the presence of Tony.

"I'm not going to remember this later, am I?" He slurred.

Tony sighed quietly. "I would imagine not."

Gibbs started laughing. "That's ironic. Because you don't remember telling me you miss me and I won't remember any of this."

"What?"

Gibbs kept laughing and worked on getting himself to his feet and moving back to the living room.

"Pain pills don't like you." He said as if it explained everything.

Tony frowned at him but didn't say anything. Together they slowly made their way back into the other room.

"Hey Tony?"

"Yeah Gibbs?"

"I still like you."

Tony closed his eyes and whispered. "I still like you too."

Gibbs smiled and let himself fall on the sofa, pulling Tony down with him. He felt the soft warmth of him and hummed contentedly.

And somewhere, distantly, he thought he heard someone crying.


	3. Chapter 3

**_*Read this before you continue on*_**

**-I made some changes to the previous chapter, so you will want to check that out before you read this. It will make more sense. **

**-I've had a lot of people send me messages about this being slash or not. I didn't know when I began what it was going to be. I do now though. If you go back to _chapter 1_ the A/N has been changed and you can see what this is supposed to be. If you feel you still can not read it, than thank you very much for giving my story a shot. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on what they believe is right. I don't see anything wrong with slash but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. This is not a slash story, but it is different. If you don't like my story, than I certainly hope you find one more suited to your tastes. **

**Have an awesome weekend! **

**Renee**

_"What's this?"_

_Gibbs' shoulders stiffened, thoughts racing as he tried to shift his form in front of the weather worn bookcase._

_He cleared his throat gruffly. "Get your ass back to bed. You need rest."_

_He could practically hear the eyeroll. "It's a cold Jethro. Somehow I think I'll survive even if I don't sleep 20 hours a day."_

_Gibbs swiveled, doing his best to keep the project from Tony's view._

_"DiNozzo..." he growled._

_Tony furrowed his eyebrow into a faux angry face and growled back. "Gibbs."_

_The older man smiled despite himself. Tony's cheeks were flushed and his hair was mussed from sleep. His red rimmed eyes blinked tiredly and he was balanced on one foot, trying absent-mindedly to adjust the bottom on his sweat pants. Gibbs' smile widened. His sweatpants. Though Tony was taller, Gibbs was broader and the pants kept slipped down his hips and covering his_

_feet. Tony craned his neck, trying to see past Gibbs' shoulder even as the sweats dropped further down. A soft chuckle escaped his lips and Gibbs stepped away from the woodwork, resigned to Tony's unyielding curiosity._

_"Ya might as well come look."_

_Tony beamed at him and bounced forward, his eyes bright. He paused in front of the white wood, the panels smooth but still showing old knots and creases. He ran his hand gently over the sanded surface._

_"Jethro?" he murmured, not looking away from the furniture. "What is this?"_

_Gibbs shrugged and moved his weight from one foot to the other. "A bookcase."_

_Tony glanced over at him, his green eyes confused even as his hand stayed resting on the middle shelf. "Well obviously, but why?" His gaze slowly moved back to the woodwork as if pulled there by a greater force._

_Gibbs leaned against his work bench and felt his smile of amusement melt into something much fonder. "Your birthday is next week."_

_Tony looked at him nonplussed. "Yes but what does that-..." His eyes widened and he spun back to the case, listing slightly to the side. "This is for me." He almost whispered._

_Gibbs didn't say anything, but watched as Tony ran his hands over the shelves, letting his fingers linger on dark smooth knot._

_"Thank you Jethro."_

_He turned to face the older man, but his foot caught in the loose pants and he fell forwards, crashing into Gibbs' chest. He laughed and wrapped his arms around Tony, accepting the impromptu hug. Tony tensed in his arms for a moment, but then relaxed, letting Jethro take his weight._

_Gibbs closed his eyes. And he was happy._

Something was threading through his hair, soft and gentle. Familiar.

_Shannon?_

He pressed his head deeper into the soft yet firm stomach he was nestled into. The long fingers massaged and kneaded, coaxing the pounding behind his eyes away and for the first time in months his head didn't ache.

"Thank you" he mumbled and the fingers hesitated. Gibbs growled deep in his throat and threw a clumsy hand up, pulling the fingers back across his head.

A quiet chuckle answered him and the fingers began again.

"You're welcome."

That wasn't Shannon. The voice was too deep, too male. Gibbs tensed and started to open his eyes, but the careful hands moved to his forehead, soothing the lines there. The voice, so familiar in its cadence, began to murmur something that played just on the verge of his consciousness.

"Stella stellina  
la notte si avvicina:  
la fiamma traballa"

Gibbs reached a tired hand out and latched a hold of a bandaged leg. There was a soft gasp of pain but Gibbs was beyond hearing it.

"Tony" he murmured.

The fingers jerked but Gibbs didn't feel it.

He slept.

xxx

Gibbs' eyes opened slowly. The sun was setting behind the curtain and Tony's silhouette was backlit in tones of purple and gold. His hand was still resting in Gibbs' hair and his eyes were distant. He looked tired. He looked young.

Gibbs cleared his throat and shifted slightly, attempting to draw Tony's attention. The younger man glanced down and him and a quiet grin played across his face.

"Good morning."

He was sleeping in Tony's lap.

Gibbs pushed himself up, careful not to jostle the other man, and groaned.

"Are you sure?"

Tony winced as the weight lifted and blood rushed back to his legs. The pinpricks of feeling clashed unpleasantly with the ever present ache. He swallowed tightly and forced a smile out. "Pretty sure."

Gibbs leaned back on the sofa and found himself without words. He had just slept on Tony's lap. He didn't even remember getting to the couch.

Certainly not laying down.

"Feel better?"

Gibbs was about to ask when he meant when he tasted the edge of leftover vomit and his hands felt puffy.

"I'm hungover?"

Tony's lips twitched and he stretched. "Very."

"Huh." Gibbs eyed the rumpled couch. He had apparently passed out here.

"Guess I decided to try getting drunk your way."

Tony froze and stared at him, something playing behind his eyes. "Yeah. The bathroom accessories thank you."

Gibbs nodded stared at the water bottle on the coffee table. That was for Tony. Tony was sick and injured. Not he who was hungover and slightly nauseous.

Tony rolled his eyes and handed it to him. "Just take it. I can't even imagine what your mouth tastes like right now."

Gibbs snatched the water and gulped it down. Tony watched with an idle smile on his face.

"That help?"

Gibbs nodded and leaned back on the couch. The room was quiet in the growing dark.

"Did I ever have a cat?"

Tony blinked but didn't look startled. "You did. After you... left though, we were a little unsure of what to do with it. Tim is allergic, Ziva hates them and neither mine nor Abby's apartments will take pets. Ducky was worried about the effect it would have on his mother's corgis and Palmer is

scared of them."

"Scared?"

Tony shrugged even as his smile grew. "Something about an ex-girlfriend and a costume party. I really didn't want to press for details."

Even it felt like it should have, that didn't surprise him. "So what happened to the cat?"

Tony stared off into the middle distance. "A friend of ours volunteered to take him. An old case, CPL. Ernie Yost. He thought he murdered a fellow soldier. We uh, we got it straightened out for him though. Took some doing, but it worked. He was really kind of excited about the cat. He'd been lonely since his wife died. Every time I swung over to visit he's show me pictures of the cat. How it was growing what it was doing." Tony smiled with clear affection. "Became his new pride and joy. We'll have to go visit sometime. He asks after you quite a bit."

Gibbs nodded, a frown hovering on lips. "Did I see him a lot?"

"Not very often. You would come along with me every once in a while. But he always understood when you couldn't."

"Oh."

Silence settled over them again. Gibbs shot furtive glances towards Tony who was looking increasingly amused as he stared down the coffee table. He seemed more relaxed than he had previous days. His body posture, the looks he gave, even his smile was more frequent. He didn't understand why but Gibbs wasn't going to question it. Maybe the medication was making him more open. Or maybe they were finally striking a balance.

"Tony-"

An insistent smattering of knocks against the front door interrupted him and he looked at it with frustration. Tony chuckled and Gibbs soaked in the sound. It wasn't laughter, not really. But he would take it.

He inclined his head towards the door. "Go."

Gibbs hesitated then sighed, propelling himself from the sofa.

"Hold your horses. I'm coming."

Tony snorted and started working his way off the cushion, his body stiff after so many hours of holding still so he wouldn't wake Gibbs. Reaching his feet he sighed and let the tingling of irritated muscles fade. Gibbs watched with worry as he stumbled to the kitchen but he didn't interfere. Something telling him his assistance would not be welcome. He turned his attention back to the door.

It swung open and with a blur came in Ducky closely followed by Palmer. Ducky looked at Gibbs and frowned, huffing slightly at the man before turning back to Palmer. "I don't care what he says this time, if we have to pin him to the couch, he's being checked out."

He swung his attention back to Gibbs though he didn't look happy about it. "Where is Anthony?"

He pointed silently to the kitchen, watching in confusion while the doctor snatched his medical bag from his assistant.

"Duck, what are you doing here?" Gibbs asked as he was shuffled aside.

Ducky ignored him and barreled into the kitchen. Gibbs started to take a step after him, but looked at Palmer instead. Jimmy paused and bit his lip for a moment before letting his hand come close but not quite touch Gibbs' arm.

"He's worried about Tony. He hasn't been making follow-up appointments. It makes Doctor Mallard twitchy." Gibbs held back a noise of frustration.

Tony hadn't been taking care of himself. Again. And he hadn't noticed. _Again_. He dragged a hand over his face and felt the familiar twitch of guilt begin to eat at him. He hadn't noticed.

"It's all right Agent Gibbs. Tony's really good at being fine when he isn't. Everyone around here assumed he was okay, and he had been sick for over a week."

Gibbs pulled his shoulders back and started towards the kitchen. "I'm not everyone."

"Anthony DiNozzo! Get out of that closet. For heaven's sake you are a grown man. Now come out here and let me look at you!" Ducky was shouting and Tony's reply was too muffled, presumably by the closet, for him to hear. Palmer started laughing and hurried close on Gibbs' heals as he stormed towards the other room.

They entered the kitchen to see Ducky holding out his medical bag like a shield and Tony standing in the entrance of the broom closet, a mop gripped in his hands and an easy smile on his face.

"I'll come out Duck, but you have to promise me there are no needles in that bag."

_Needles?_

"Come now Anthony, If you need the antibiotics this is the best way to give them to you."

Tony moved the mop further in front of him. His smile was still there but it was strained on the edges.

_He didn't like needles._

"Are you just carrying about antibiotic filled syringes? Because I'm fairly certain you aren't supposed to do that."

Ducky smiled smugly. "You never picked up your prescription. I took the liberty of fetching it for you."

Tony winced and finally dropped the mop. "Of course. How good of you."

Ducky grabbed Tony's arm and pulled him gently from the closet. Gibbs watched with amused worry as Tony was prodded towards the dining room table.

Ducky turned to face him, his eyes cool and unhappy. "If you will excuse us please."

Tony looked like he was about to protest but Palmer shook his head and he closed his mouth back. He was tired and fighting an irate doctor over Gibbs' presence was a bit much for him right now. Especially when he didn't even know if Gibbs wanted to be there.

Gibbs took in Tony's obvious exhaustion and nodded silently.

"DiNozzo," he murmured and Tony's eyes darted to him from their apprehensive study of the medical bag. "Semper Fi."

Fear longing sadness loss joy. It all filled Tony's eyes and Gibbs had to force himself to step into the other room.

He missed it too.

xxx

Palmer watched Gibbs leave and looked to Tony. His friend was staring after him, not even noticing Ducky sanitizing a patch of his arm for the needle prick.

"Tony?"

He turned his attention to Palmer though his friend could tell it took a great effort.

"Yeah Jimmy."

"You all right?"

Tony nodded and murmured yes in a tone that obviously meant no. Palmer pursed his lips and leaned on Tony's chair, hitting his shoulder gently with his hip. Tony looked up at him and met Jimmy's warm eyes. He sighed and leaned his head into his side while Ducky poked him repeatedly with various syringes.

"You done doc?"

Ducky pulled a thermometer from his bag and stuck it directly in Tony's mouth.

"Under the tongue" he instructed, "and no I am not done. Anthony you are still a good measure underweight and if you aren't running a fever I'll eat my hat."

"You're not wearing a hat." Tony mumbled around the mercury.

"Then I'll eat Mr. Palmer's hat." He said gesturing to the fedora topping Jimmy's head.

Tony snorted and smiled, causing the thermometer to rise. "It deserves it."

Palmer opened his mouth in protest. "Hey! Fedoras are in now! Right? I read it in Lee's... I mean... in Agent... I... I read it." He finished awkwardly, trailing off as his face bloomed with color.

Ducky started laughing and Tony leaned back in his chair, giving Jimmy a sympathetic look but not responding.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine." He pulled the hat off and dropped it on Tony's head who smiled rakishly around the medical equipment poking from his face.

The thermometer beeped and Ducky pulled it out and waved it with a flourish. "See! 102 degrees! Anthony!"

"I-"

"If you do not take proper care and monitor your health you are going to continue to worsen. You can't afford for-"

"Doctor Mallard!" Jimmy interrupted, his stomach twisting at the look on Tony's face. "Why don't you go check on Gibbs. I'll berate Tony on his health for a minute for you."

Ducky looked closely at Palmer and then nodded, seeing the meaning in the younger man's words.

"I expect you to give him a stern talking to." He responded, though his voice had gentled.

Jimmy put a hand on his heart.

"The sternest."

Ducky frowned and swept out of the room, bag gripped tightly in hand. "He's probably running a temperature too." He muttered as he chased down the marine.

Palmer and Tony watched him go and then Tony sighed in relief. "Thank you."

Jimmy shrugged. "Figured the last thing you needed was someone else yelling at you."

"But I'm so scoldable." Tony bantered, closing his eyes in exhaustion. He hadn't slept while Gibbs had. Too afraid of the older man waking up and freaking out over their position. All the months of pushing himself, ignoring silly things like full meals, hot showers and pneumonia was finally catching up to him.

"You're certainly something. How's it been?"

Tony's eyes shifted to the side, not making contact. "Odd. We've been at a bit of a stand still since I got here. It's like neither of us can find the words. Apparently the only way we can talk is if one of us is in mortal danger. Maybe Benoit needs to come back."

Jimmy winced. "Man don't even joke. They still haven't found him. Don't jinx it."

Tony smiled idly. "Yeah, knowing my luck." He tapped his finger against the table, beating out a tune that only he knew. "Apparently being inebriated works too. He got completely smashed last night."

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah. Think it was the most honest conversation we've had since... well.. since. And he doesn't remember a lick of it. How's that for ironic?"

Palmer opened his mouth, but said nothing. What was there to say? He put a hand on Tony's shoulder and let the silence rule.

xxx

"Sit."

"Duck..."

"Sit down Agent Gibbs."

He sighed and dropped to the toilet, frowning as he rested on the cool lid.

"Any particular reason we're doing this in here?"

Ducky swiped the thermometer with a sanitizing wipe. "Mr. Palmer and Agent DiNozzo are talking."

"Ah."

The doctor stuck the mercury in his mouth and took his pulse. "How have you been feeling? Headaches? Dizzy?"

Gibbs nodded, not bothering to speak around the cool glass.

"Both? Often?"

He shrugged. Often enough.

Ducky pursed his lips and seemed lost in thought for a moment. "Any memory return?" He asked as he pulled the monitor from his lips.

"Some."

Ducky raised his eyebrows, his eyes lighting up. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Dreams mostly. I've been checking with Tony, trying to sort which are memories."

"Reaching any conclusion?"

He looked towards the door, just barely catching the murmur of voices from

his kitchen.

"I spent a lot of time Tony."

Ducky hesitated, his hands hovering near his temples. "Yes, you did."

"The things I'm remembering... I... I need you to be honest Ducky."

Ducky froze and Gibbs could see him debating with himself. Finally he sighed and with the breath of air all the walls he had placed collapsed.

"I will do my best Jethro, but I will not betray any confidences. Not even your own."

"Were we... were Tony and I...Did we..."

"Jethro, what you were or were not no longer matters. I'm sorry."

"But-"

Ducky put his hands on his old friend's shoulders.

"Jethro, talk to Tony. Talk to him."

xxx

Gibbs hovered in the doorway, being sure to keep his form in the long shadows of the evening. He could see Tony reflected in the angled kitchen windows, a small smile hovering on his face as he hummed along with the record player that someone had shoved in the corner. A woman was crooning, small skips and scratches accenting the music.

_Etta James. Tony loves Etta James. Tony loved the blues. _

_Ray Charles albums. _

He was washing dishes, his weight leaning against the sink as he stood hip-shot towards it. His tee-shirt was damp and there were soap bubbles caught in his still too long hair.

Talk to him. Ducky had said it. Tobias had said it. Maybe it was time he actually tried it.

"It's really kind of creepy when you do that."

Gibbs started and then took a step forward into the cheerfully lit room.

"How did you know?"

Tony's smile bounced back at him from the window. "I always know."

Gibbs blinked and thought back to vague memories he had of catching Tony off guard. A surety rested in his gut. He did always know.

Gibbs leaned against the wall and studied Tony carefully. Everything about him was relaxed and quiet. He swayed slightly to the tune of lost love echoing

around the room. He looked like he belonged.

"Are we together?"

Tony paused, water dripping from the chipped plate onto his bare feet.

"Excuse me?"

Gibbs waved his hands around meaningfully. "Are we... are you and I..."

"Romantic?" Tony asked, raising one eyebrow.

Gibbs floundered for a moment before straightening his shoulder and looking

Tony head on. "Yes."

"No."

Gibbs creased his eyebrows together. "No? I thought-"

"Gibbs, you're an amnesiac and I'm apparently a sneeze from death." Tony said, cutting him off. His eyes darted to the side, looking thoughtfully towards the dining room table before continuing. "Somehow I don't think we'd be the best of couples." Tony's eyes grew distant and he pulled the wet plate to his chest, his thoughts now obviously elsewhere.

"Oh." Gibbs turned his head and chewed on the inside of his cheek. "I was having these dreams."

Tony's eyes closed for the briefest of moments and an emotion crossed his face that Gibbs' couldn't quite put a name to. "Good dreams?"

Gibbs nodded slowly and something about Tony relaxed. He nodded and turned back to the dishes. "Good."

He stepped forward and took the dish from Tony, snagging a towel from the oven. "Let me."

Tony stared at him for an endless moment. "Okay." He whispered.

"In my dreams... you're always there." Gibbs said, keeping his eyes straight forward. He wasn't good with things like this. With emotion and land mines of yesterdays.

Tony blinked but didn't react, only smoothly answered."I suppose that makes sense. We were always around each other. And I did live here."

"What?"

"I lived here. For almost two years."

"But... you have an apartment."

"Got it after we realized what was going on in your head. Thought it might be a bit much to try and convince you that I stayed here too."

Gibbs felt something in him click. Another puzzle piece. It explained a lot really. Why Tony knew where everything was. How he was able to move around the house in the dark with no issue. The redecorated guest room. Tony's room.

"But we weren't together?"

Tony shook his head. "We weren't together, no."

There was something though...

"Were we happy?"

His voice was so quiet Gibbs could barely catch it.

"Yes."


	4. Chapter 4

**Who's got a new job?! This chick! Whoop whoop! I am so excited. :) Super duper excited. So excited that a new chapter just popped out of an explosion of glitter. Just like that. Let's all be excited! **

_"What are you doing?"_

_"Cooking!" Tony shouted at him with great enthusiasm. _

_Gibbs lingered in the doorway and eyed the stovetop with caution. Various ingredients were scattered over the counter, dried herbs and sliced vegetables and what looked to be eight different kind of cheese. There was trail of red sauce that led from the counter to the table to the oven. Tony was bouncing back and forth in tune with what sounded like an electric banjo blasting from the radio while waving a slotted spoon in the air. All in all, it was very worrisome. _

_"Are you sure? Because that doesn't look like cooking."_

_Tony smiled at him reassuringly. _

_"Oh don't worry. It's supposed to be on fire."_

_Gibbs chewed thoughtfully on the inside of his cheek as he watched the flames in the pot expand up and reach impressive, if not troubling, heights. _

_"Uh-huh."_

_Tony pulled on an oven mitt and stuck his hand directly in the inferno. Bits and pieces of vegetables flew from the pot as he stirred furiously. _

_"It's Grammy's recipe." He said proudly. "Nuovamente a casa soup." _

_Gibbs nodded understandingly. "This the same Grammy who blew up an ice cream truck?"_

_Tony frowned at him and waved his spoon in reprimand. "She didn't blow it up. She just happened to be driving it when the engine malfunctioned."_

_Gibbs stepped closer and grabbed the hood of Tony's worn sweatshirt, pulling him away from the growing burn. _

_"I've seen the pictures kid, that was one hell of a malfunction."_

_Tony rolled his eyes but didn't argue. He licked the dripping stew from the spoon and furrowed his forehead before turning back to face the stove. They stood together and watched the fire grow inside the pot. _

_"This is getting away from me isn't it?"_

_"Yup."_

_The flames were coming dangerously close to the curtains._

_"I don't get what I did wrong. Grammy's always came out perfectly."_

_Gibbs calmly retrieved a fire extinguisher from the broom closet and aimed it towards the blaze. He said nothing, but smiled quietly to himself at Tony's nonchalant attitude towards nearly setting the kitchen on fire. _

_"You think it was the oregano? I may have overdone it on the oregano."_

_"Yeah, I'm sure that was it."_

"Gibbs."

Gibbs rolled over, shoving his head deeper into the pillow.

"Gibbs. Wake up for just a second. You can go right back to sleep."

He swung an arm out, hitting something soft and warm.

"No." He muttered. "Too much oregano."

"What? Oregano? Gibbs?"

"Sleeping."

A soft sigh answered his and he felt something move closer.

"Gibbs? I'm leaving, I'll be back in a couple hours. You got that?"

He could feel the warm starting to leave and something clicked.

Tony. Leaving. Tony. Leaving. _Tony._

His eyes opened instantly and Gibbs sat up, his arms already reaching, grabbing him and pulling him back.

"What?"

Tony grunted and tried to work himself out of Gibbs' grasp but the older man just shifted his grip and blinked fuzzily at him. Tony pursed his lips and sighed, opposition fading away.

Gibbs' face was creased from where he had buried it in his pillow and his eyebrows were mussed. His hand was still wrapped around Tony's wrist but it had changed to a gentle hold rather than restricting.

Tony shook his head and smiled warmly at Gibbs. He nudged him gently until he moved over and Tony slowly sat next to him, stretching his legs out with a pronounced wince and a sigh of relief.

The older man eyed Tony, studying the tiredness around his eyes and ragged edge of his smile. He looked like a man who was lost. And yet, somehow, Gibbs felt a rush a fondness. Tony glanced over at him and blanched at seeing him staring.

"What?"

"It's early." Gibbs' slurred, his voice blurry with sleep.

Tony's lips twitched up with amusement.

"Says the man who used to believe that 7:30 was to be considered a lie in."

Gibbs shrugged and settled deeper into the pillows. He liked this, having Tony near by. There wasn't a romantic aspect to it, he could see that now, but having Tony close, having him within sight, within reach, it felt like pieces falling into place.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Tony shrugged. "You can ask me anything."

"Will you answer?"

His lips twitched up knowingly. "You're learning."

"I should hope."

"What do you want to ask?"

Gibbs hesitated. "I don't know…" he trailed off, piquing Tony's curiosity.

"Gibbs?"

"There's things I want to know, but I don't know how to remember if I don't ask."

Tony frowned "Ducky said we're supposed to let you remember on your own."

"I am remembering. I just want more."

Tony sighed. "You always do." He stared off into space for a moment and then nodded, as if suddenly realizing solution to a difficult decision. "You can ask me Gibbs, I'll answer you. Whether I should or shouldn't, I'll answer you."

"Thank you."

Tony smiled. Thank you. That was still strange. Thanks. Please. Sorry. They felt wrong, but he had the feeling they weren't permanent. The closer he got back to himself, the more those would fade away. Tony couldn't quite find it in himself to have a problem with that.

"Got a question?"

Gibbs thought for a moment. There was so much he wanted to ask. What had happened after the plague? What happened to Kate? Why had Tony lived with him? _Why_ were they friends? As far as he could tell, he didn't exactly _have_ friends. He knew why Tony was his, he could clearly see that now, but why on earth was he Tony's? Gibbs took a deep breath. He didn't know where to start.

"Nuovamente a casa. What does that mean?"

Tony blinked but the answer came automatically. "To be home again."

Gibbs nodded let the words linger in his thoughts, turning them over and over. _To be home again._

He looked at Tony.

Home again.

Tony's frowned in confusion as a small smile spread across Gibbs' face. The man had a distant look on his face but his eyes were sharp and focus on Tony's own.

"You okay?" He asked curiously.

Gibbs nodded but didn't elaborate. Tony shrugged internally and looked away, resigning himself to being stared at. He glanced around the bedroom. The last time he had been in here… he had been searching for his dress shoes. Right after the explosion, in the rush to move out and give Gibbs back his space before he knew it had been shared with anyone who wasn't Shannon. He had ripped the bedroom apart in the neatest way possible in an effort to find the black leather Oxfords, anger and loss and rage and sorrow fueling his every action as all the while he struggled not to dissolve into helpless hysterical laughter. Gibbs had an awful habit of 'borrowing' his belongings and forgetting to put them back and Tony had been down three pairs of shoes.

"Why are you dressed?"

Tony started, shook from his thoughts. He glanced down at himself.

"Weird question to ask. Or was that a proposition? Because if you try to take off my-"

Gibbs waved his hand, smacking Tony's arm gently. "Nicely. You're dressed nicely. Why?"

Tony grinned cheekily at him. "That's why I was here in the first place thank you very much. I have to go back to NCIS, some paperwork to finish up on the last case."

Gibbs' face darkened with worry. "NCIS? Is that a good idea?" He asked, his voice suggesting that they both knew what they answer was. "You're still having trouble breathing and your legs-

"Are all tightly bandaged and covered in the sticky smelly gooey stuck Ducky dropped off and I'm on enough painkillers to down an elephant. The antibiotics I was stuffed with last night will keep me steady for a while. I can hold out for few hours."

Gibbs stared at him till Tony looked away. "You're not on painkillers."

"Yes I -"

Gibbs tapped Tony's temple. "Unless you've suddenly built up a resistance towards crazy, it's pretty obvious you haven't taken anything."

Tony bristled. "Yes I have." He insisted.

Gibbs raised one eye brow till Tony sighed and leaned against the head board. "Tylenol. I've taken Tylenol. It's a painkiller." He defended.

"Tony-"

"I have to go Gibbs. McGee and Ziva weren't there when I brought the guy in, I need to make sure my report is finalized and everything is by the book. There are still too many loose ends and I can't just let this linger."

Oh so many things twitched in that statement. Tony brought a suspect in by himself. Alone. Where was his back-up? He knew he and McGee had hashed things out on the way to the hospital, but there still felt like there were things hanging.

And Ziva.

As far as Gibbs knew she was rotting in a cell in the belly of the FBI while three different government offices fought over her fate.

Tony was right, there were too many things left unfinished.

But it wasn't his job to finish them.

Gibbs shook his head. "No. I don't like this. You shouldn't be putting as much pressure on yourself as you do, let alone go traipsing around NCIS. You're running a risk of infection and the pneumonia is still wrecking havoc on your lungs. Ducky said you had a fever last night!"

"Gibbs-"

"No." he said firmly.

Tony raised his eyebrows. "You can't forbid me from going."

Gibbs opened his mouth to argue then stopped. He sighed deeply and met Tony's eyes.

"Tony. Please. You have to heal."

Tony's face fell and Gibbs could almost hear the plea in his voice. He didn't want to fight. He was tired.

"Jethro, I have to. It's the right thing to do."

Gibbs pursed his lips thoughtfully. The right thing. Hadn't all of this been about doing the right thing? Did anyone of them have the slightest idea what the right thing was? He couldn't keep the Senior Agent from going. He knew that. He had several memories of Tony as an agent, being a slacker, a joker, mess, but an overwhelming knowledge was solid beneath them all- Tony was a good agent. A capable agent. A strong agent. He was going to finish his case whether it was good for him or not. He may have never been a marine, but he had the spirit of one.

Gibbs studied Tony for a moment and then smiled, something twinging familiar. "Okay, fine. I can't keep you from going. But you're going to compromise with me.

Tony's eyes widened. "No. Gibbs I don't know what you're thinking, but no. Your compromises are always terrible. Do you remember the rabbits? Of course you don't, but Gibbs one of your compromises led to rabbits! We don't need anymore rabbits!"

Gibbs started to laugh and Tony closed his eyes.

"Shit. I hate rabbits."

Xxx

McGee rearranged the coffee mug on the desk for the eighth time. Tony had sent him a text message asking to have all the paper work on the York case ready and waiting for him, and McGee was prepared to give 'ready and waiting' a whole new definition.

The files were organized and double checked to ensure that everything was by the book and legally sound. He lined up the evidence and confessional video on the plasma and had cup of steaming coffee waiting.

He was a good agent.

And he was ready to prove it.

"DiNozzo! Looking good man! Nice wheels!"

"Hey Treckson."

McGee's head came up with a snap. Tony. He jumped up from the desk and ran a hand down the front of his shirt. Grasping the coffee he straightened and looked towards the voices coming from the elevator. A crowd was gathering in front of the open doors and the elevator was dinging in protest at the inability to shut. McGee strained to see the Senior Agent but could not see in through the rush of people. He caught a glimpse of several agents from different teams, several of them who used to work night shift. Tim frowned, unsure of why they were there. Why would old night shift agents know Tony? And was that the janitor?

"Excuse me guys, got work to do. On a time crunch." He could hear Tony say, though his voice sounded slightly muffled.

"Move." Came a gruff, much less polite order.

Gibbs' head suddenly appeared from the crowd of people though Tony was still out of sight. McGee frowned. Why was Gibbs here? And how could he hear Tony but not see him? Tony was taller than Gibbs…

Gibbs rounded the corner pushing Tony who was sitting in wheelchair, a look of amused resignation across his face.

Gibbs leveled a glare at McGee. "You have forty minutes. Go."

"Tony?" He looked at the senior agent with confusion and Tony smiled at him.

"I'm on curfew Tim. He's not fooling."

"Thirty-nine and half minutes!" Gibbs barked and McGee jumped.

Tony smiled brightly. "If I'm good and listen to everything Gibbs' says we get to stop for milkshakes on the way home."

"Um…" McGee looked from Gibbs' stern and straight face to Tony's extremely amused one, trying to tell if he was kidding or not.

"You have my file?" Tony asked, pushing himself up and out of the chair.

Gibbs' heavy hand dropped on his shoulder and Tony looked up at him. Gibbs eyes widened meaningfully and he said in a low voice.

"Rabbits."

Tony winced and let himself fall back in the chair.

"File, McGee." He said, sounding much less happy.

Utterly confused, Tim handed the papers over.

"If you want to look… or turn… over here. There's more." Tim said excitedly, pointing to the plasma.

He flipped a couple buttons on the remote and then tossed it to Tony who waited patiently for Gibbs to turn him towards the screen.

"What's more?"

Tim puffed up proudly. "He confessed! After you left and Gibbs chased after you, I went down to check on him and he just poured everything out. He's been selling drugs on the side for months and he's trying to plea out by naming other doctors doing the same."

Tony frowned. "I thought doctors couldn't give out drugs. Don't they have to prescribe them. Isn't it a pharmacist thing?"

Tim nodded excitedly. "He's already rolled on three different pharmacists. This thing is huge!"

Tony grinned. "Well. Isn't this wrapping up nicely? Do we have any new information on who the victim was?"

Tim's smile dropped away. "No. No one's come to claim him and Abby can't find any match to dental or fingerprints. He's a ghost."

Tony screwed his lips to the side and nodded. "Right. Keep trying McGee. He's got to belong to someone."

The young agent nodded and started back to his computer.

"Hey Tim?"

He paused and looked up eagerly.

"Good job."

McGee smiled widely at Tony and fought back the redness he could feel flooding his cheeks at the compliment.

"Thank you."

Tony tapped Gibbs' hand and pointed to the elevator and the silently began to leave but Tim lurched forward.

"Tony!"

They hesitated and Tony looked back curiously. "Yes?"

Tim opened and closed his mouth for a moment, trying to find the words before they came tumbling out.

"I'm glad you're back. It's too quiet without you." He stared at Tony, willing him, begging him to hear what he was trying to say.

Tony smiled and nodded once at him before looking up at Gibbs and smacking his arm.

"Hi-ho Silver! Away!"

Gibbs slapped the back of his head.

They both froze and their eyes locked.

"Tony…"

"Agent DiNozzo!"

The deep voice echoed over the bullpen, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

"Is that… is that Morrow?" Tony whispered.

Gibbs nodded soundlessly, his eyes narrowed.

The man leveled his stare on Tony.

"We need to talk."


	5. Chapter 5

**Never get a kitten. Kittens are just awful. Terrible terrible ideas. My fiancé is all "But they're free. Don't you want to make sure they go to a good home? Look! He cuddles." A month later and he's a royal terror who enjoys biting any part of me that is not under covers in the middle of the night. The kitten, not my fiancé. My fiancé can bite anything he likes. Castiel on the other hand, needs to learn the whole personal space thing.**

**There have been some very painful experiences. But he's cure though, so that helps. **

**Sorry for the delay! Hope you aren't too terribly angry. Enjoy! **

_"__What does he want?"  
Tony shrugged.  
"Money. Probably. Maybe we'll have a change of pace and he'll ask for an alibi. Whatever he thinks I can give him, I suppose."  
Gibbs frowned as Tony tied his tie once more, his hands shaking around the silk. He watched Tony's face reflected in the mirror from his spot perched on the edge of the bed, eyes scrutinizing the younger man. He looked stressed, unhappy. There was a tightness around his eyes that Gibbs seldom saw.  
He didn't like it.  
"You don't have to go."  
Tony pursed his lips and stared at the knot on his neck. He made a harsh sound of disgust and whipped the tie off.  
"I don't have to do anything." He said, tying it again.  
"But you're going to."  
Tony said nothing, but stared forward, his eyes sharp and critical as he studied himself in the full length mirror. His shoes were bright and clean, shining obscenely against the worn carpet. His pants were properly creased and his jacket was perfectly fitted.  
But his tie was still crooked.  
Tony muttered a curse under his breath and grabbed the knot with a ferocity that brought Gibbs to his feet.  
He moved in front of the younger man and took the cloth from him. Gibbs carefully brought steady hands up and tied the neck tie with a professional air, being sure to move slowly and gauge Tony's reaction. Tony smiled at him gratefully and Gibbs gave him a gentle smack on the back of the head.  
He smirked and then straightened, his arms open for evaluation.  
"So? How do I look?"  
Gibbs stared at him straight on.  
"Like you're going to a funeral."  
Tony clapped his hands together.  
"Perfect."  
Gibbs leaned against the dresser and looked closer at Tony. He was shifting his weight from one foot to another, his eyes darting around the room. Drawn by movement, Gibbs glanced down at Tony's hands, they were opening and closing, grasping at nothing. His fingers were going white from strain.  
He was frightened.  
"Tony."  
He waited until the young man met his eyes and then he put a large hand on his shoulder.  
"You don't have to do this." He said again, his voice taking on a different meaning.  
Tony sighed and let his head rest in the dip of Gibbs' shoulder.  
"And that's why I do."_

Gibbs jerked forward with a start, meeting the wide worried eyes of the director's secretary.

"Mr. Gibbs?" She whispered withdrawing her hand from his shoulder.

What was her name? Tabitha? Aretha?

"Mr. Gibbs, I think something's going on."

She pointed worriedly at the sealed doors separating him from Tony. He frowned at her but then caught the faint shouting, effectively muffled by the protective walls.

He surged to his feet and she jumped backwards, hurrying out of his way and back to her desk.

"Thank you Cynthia."

She blinked at him, then smiled.

Gibbs swiveled back the door and pushed it open, storming into the office.

"Checks and balances my ass!" Tony yelled as Morrow approached him.

"You're becoming dangerously close to insubordinate." Morrow snarled as he pointed a finger in Tony's face.

Tony smiled at him, but it was all teeth and no warmth.

"Perfect, because I'm feeling pretty insubordinate."

"You don't want to test me, Agent DiNozzo."

"But I might." Gibbs said.

He stalked forwards, his eyes narrowed as he studied the two men. Morrow's face was red and he was invading as much of Tony's personal space as possible. The man rolled his eyes when he saw Gibbs and stepped away, dropping into a conference chair and massaging his temples. Gibbs disregarded him and turned his attention to Tony. The young man was pale and his hand was trembling where it gripped the table. The wheelchair was shoved in the corner and there were lines of exhaustion around Tony's eyes.

His forty minutes was up two hours ago.

Gibbs sidled up to Tony and subtly offered his shoulder in support. Tony looked at him for a brief moment and then leaned on him, the very picture of casual superiority as they teamed against Morrow.

"What is going on?" Gibbs asked Tony, staring at the older man.

Tony snorted. "Apparently I could have done significantly more to ensure that the Benoit investigation stayed within the bounds of NCIS jurisdiction, rather than letting Shepherd run rampant with her vendetta."

Gibbs stared at him incredulously before directing his next question onto Morrow himself.

"Are you out of your damn mind?"

Morrow drug a hand down his face. "I'm not saying it's Agent DiNozzo's fault things went sidewise. I simply meant that with our system of checks and balances that a higher authority should have been notified regarding the status of the mission. Especially one that crossed over into another agency's territory. The FBI is raging and Benoit is in the wind."

Tony growled deep in his throat and pulled away from Gibbs. The agent took several steps towards Morrow, his mouth open with response before he snapped it shut, his eyes closing. He inhaled deeply, though the breath wavered. Releasing the air, Tony spun and hurried from the room, giving neither man a second glance. Morrow and Gibbs stared after his abrupt departure in stunned silence before turning back to each other in bemusement.

"Damn it." Morrow muttered.

Gibbs crossed his arms over his chest and eyed him.

"What's going on?"

He waved his hand towards the door Tony had vanished through. "Apparently DiNozzo disagrees with my sentiment."

Gibbs shook his head and knocked his knuckles twice on the smooth table.

"Not what I mean."

Morrow sighed. "Shepherd has been relieved from duty pending an investigation on gross misconduct and abuse of power. Benoit is gone. FBI can't get a trace on him. He's vanished. SecNav is furious and everything Shepherd approved is under review."

"I could care less. How is this going to fall on Tony?"

He rubbed again at his forehead, attempting to stave off the headache that Team Gibbs always seemed to inspire.

"I don't think you're hearing me. _Everything _she approved is under review. Every case, under cover, transfer, it's all being hen-picked. It's absolute chaos around here. DiNozzo is the least of our worries."

Gibs slammed his hand down flat on the table and snapped at Morrow.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but NCIS isn't exactly my number one focus right now. Tell me about my agent."

Morrow stared at him for a long beat of silence then sighed.

"Reasonably, it shouldn't lay on Agent DiNozzo in the least. By all measures this is Shepherd's mess and her mess alone. Unfortunately, the high ups don't want to claim responsibility for not looking further into department affairs and they're searching for someone else to hold the sack." He shook his head and looked up at Gibbs with apology. "Tony was pretty deep in shit."

Gibbs dropped his voice and leaned over Morrow. "You will not let him take this."

"I know. I know." Morrow leaned his elbows on the table tiredly. "I'm doing my best. He has to cooperate with me though."

Gibbs shook his head. "No. He's done cleaning up other people's messes. You take care of this."

Morrow couldn't even muster the energy to glare at him.

"What the hell are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be boat building in Central America?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Got sick of Tequila."

Morrow shook his head. "No. Honestly. Why are you here?"

Gibbs turned his head and stared out the door. He could catch traces of Tony's voice mingling with McGee. "Couldn't make sense of my dreams."

Morrow looked confused but before he could ask, Tony swept back in the room with McGee quick on his heels. He walked up to Morrow and slammed a pile of papers on the table.

"Every e-mail I sent. Every initial, follow-up, and back check. Sent one everyday for weeks. I finally figured you guys either approved or just didn't care about what was happening." McGee stepped closer to Tony and the older agent glanced down at him, the anger seeping out of his voice. "Now I'm figuring, they never got to you in the first place."

McGee slid another ream of paper towards Morrow.

"The e-mails were being bounced back, rejected from the initial server client. Unfortunately any notification that should have been sent was diverted to a dummy account. I'm still working on the how's and when's, but someone hacked Tony's e-mail client." His eyes skittered over to the weary senior field agent with worry. "Someone who knew he would be appealing to the higher-ups."

Morrow frowned and picked up a paper, the lines around his mouth sinking deeper as he read. He dropped one and picked up another, flipping through pages.

His eyes darted to Tony over the top of the e-mails.

"You have these saved back? Times, dates, contacts."

Tony frowned at him. "Senior. Field. Agent." He said, tapping himself on the chest with each word.

Morrow nodded and gathered up all the papers. His gaze darted over to Gibbs before turning back to Tony.

"Agent DiNozzo, believe me when I say I understand that sometime we find ourselves doing things we never wanted for what we are told is the greater good. I will do all I can to ensure you are not implicated in all of this."

Tony nodded once in thanks and started out of the room, McGee close behind him and Gibbs slowly following.

"Tony." He said and he waited for the younger man's eyes to shoot to his own. Gibbs raised his eyebrows and Tony nodded once, slipping out into the hall. Gibbs shut the door behind them and turned to Morrow.

"Now what?"

Morrow sighed and stared down at the papers.

"If Tony has evidence that he tried to reach out regarding Shepherd's conduct, then his chances of escaping unscathed when up drastically."

Gibbs snorted. "Unscathed? Have you even looked at him, Tom?"

He winced. "He certainly does seem worse for the wear. You taking care of him?"

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah. Best I can."

Morrow looked relieved. "Good, I'm glad you two are… whatever the hell you are."

Gibbs let that go without comment. Whatever they were, they were figuring it out. "What's the director situation?"

"Leon Vance. He's been moving up the ladder and has been eyeing the chair for a while. Might be just what the department needs. He comes in next month. Until then, I'm holding down the fort."

Gibbs leaned against the door. "What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Last I heard I was still listed as an agent, just one who happened to be on an extended vacation."

Morrow raised one eyebrow. "You thinking on coming back?"

Gibbs shrugged impassively. "Idle curiosity."

Morrow pursed his lips. "I'll look into it."

Xxx

_"__There's a hole in your face and eyes on your feet and don't you don't you don't you don't you see where you're going?!"_

"_Deep Fried Monkeys_?" Tony asked, leaning against the open doorway to the lab.

Abby spun on her heels and threw her hands over her face.

"Tony?"

He waved cautiously, unsure of Abby's reaction. He had only seen her once since Gibbs had gotten back and it had consisted of him being half-conscious while she cried. He had been under the impression that Gibbs had imposed a no visiting rule.

He preferred to think that rather than to consider no one wanted to see him.

He swallowed tightly. He guessed he would find out.

Abby clicked off the blaring music and the room suddenly seemed suffocating in the silence. She approached him slowly until she was only a couple feet away, her feet shuffling. They eyed each other for a long moment and she suddenly threw herself into his arms.

"Tony! I wanted to come visit you but Gibbs told me and McGee we had to think about what we had done and you needed time to rest and Ducky was all cranky and wouldn't tell us how you were and McGee and I hacked into the hospitals records but we couldn't find anything on how you were _now_ and I couldn't stop worrying and Gibbs told me that you needed time but he was all weird and not Gibbs and I've missed you!"

She squeezed him tightly and Tony winced, trying to brace his battered body as she clung to him.

"I've missed you too Abs. What have I missed, what's been going on?"

Abby threw her hands up in the air. "Oh my gosh Tony, so much. McGee has had nothing to do so he spends all his time in the lab with me because Morrow hasn't wanted to assign a new team as the MCRT yet until the mess with Shepherd has been cleared out. The Director was let go and hasn't been allowed back in the building since and Morrow just hangs out in her office like a creepy old bat."

Tony hopped up on a table and Abby leaned against it, smiling widely at Tony.

"Seems like you've been busy." He glanced over at her computer screens and stilled when he saw Benoit's smiling face looking back at him.

She nodded. "So busy. Morrow's got me going through the Benoit stuff."

Tony tore his eyes away from the screen and back to her. "What?"

She shifted uneasily from foot to foot. "He wanted me to go through everything. Make sure nothing was too hinky."

Tony kept a smooth face, not letting emotion flicker through. "What have you got?"

She grabbed his wrist and stared at him, sincerity flowing through every word.

"Tony, I've gone through everything. You didn't do anything wrong. The Director broke a lot of rules, but you just did what you were told. As far as I can tell, you're in the clear."

Tony smiled at her but found his eyes being drawn back to Benoit's. "Any word on Jeanne?"

Abby shifted from foot to foot uneasily.

"She um.. she's left. Put in for a transfer and moved to Nevada."

Tony blinked.

"Nevada? Why on earth would she choose Nevada?"

Abby shrugged.

"She likes to gamble?"

Tony frowned at her and furrowed his eyebrows. "No. No she would have a reason. She loved Washington. She wouldn't run to Nevada just to get away from…there's been no news releases regarding her father so it's not like she… she's wouldn't because of…" his voice trailed off but the unspoken reason still echoed in the room.

_Did she leave because of me?_

_No. No she wouldn't. She'd blow up my Mustang before letting me run her out of her town. _

Tony pushed off the table tapped the screen.

"You've kept an eye on her right? Watching her contacts?"

Abby winced. "More or less. We were expressly told to watch from a distance. We're keeping an eye on her phone records and some locals check up on her once in a while, but that's about it. We're pushing our luck with that. SecNav has told us to stay away."

Tony nodded, he had never wanted to involve Jeanne to begin with, though leaving her to her own devices didn't seem like the best of ideas either.

_Nevada. Why Nevada?_

"I take it someone revealed to her what was going on? Someone questioned her on the whereabouts of her father?"

Abby patted his shoulder kindly. "Agent Treckson. He was very gentle and explained things best he could."

"Yeah, he's a good guy… excuse me Abby." He gave her an absent minded hug and wandered from the room, his thoughts miles ahead.

Abby waved goodbye and smiled to herself as she heard the elevator ding. Tony seemed different. The good different. While Gibbs was gone he had been distant. Tired and cranky. He was unfamiliar.

Now however, he seemed more like himself. Too quiet still, but he smiled and joked about her music and seemed more relaxed. Gibbs being back was good for him. Whether he knew it or not. It was good for him.

She heard the elevator ding again and she looked over in confusion.

"Forget something?"

"Tony down here?"

Gibbs poked his head in the room and Abby smiled, bouncing over to him.

"Nope bossman, no Tony, just me." She beamed up at him but he frowned at her and turned away.

"You see where he went?"

She pouted and crossed her arms. "Upstairs. Don't you want to see me too?"

Gibbs looked at her and sighed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Abby was fuzzy too. He knew he loved her, a faint fondness that vaguely reminded him of Kelly hung around her.

But he couldn't tell himself why.

He patted her on top of her pigtails.

"Not now Abby. Tony needs me."

He started towards the door but Abby stepped forward and called out-

"We need you too."

He paused and looked back to her and she opened her hands beseechingly.

"Bossman… Gibbs, I don't know what you're doing, but NCIS is falling apart. There isn't an MCRT anymore and cases, our cases, _my cases_ are under review because of Shepherd's bad decisions. No one knows what to do. Morrow's been gone too long and no one knows what to do with him and he keeps talking up this new guy but are any of us going to be able to trust him? You didn't just leave Tony you know. You left McGee. Ducky. _Me._ Gibbs, doesn't that matter? Don't we matter too?"

He opened his mouth but Abby's wide eyes cut off any response he could have found. She was right.

He didn't just leave Tony.

He left them all.

And he couldn't fix any of them.

He closed his eyes and turned away, walking quickly from the room.

"Gibbs!" She shouted but he didn't turn back.

xxx

_"'__There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.'"_

_Jeanne laughed, rain caught on her eyelashes. "What?"_

_"__It's from a movie. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."_

_She shook her head and knocked her hip into his. _

_"__Never heard of it."_

_He smiled and waved his heads emphatically in the air. "Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro go on a drug trip through Nevada and slowly but surely drive Spider-Man insane."_

_She stared at him for a moment before the laughter bubbled up. "Now I know you're making that up."_

_He shook his head. "Oh you wish I was. There's a lizard orgy and everything."_

_"__Tony!" She gasped through the laughter and he shrugged. _

_"__Anything can happen in Nevada."_

Tony leaned against the elevator wall. They had joked about watching the film and then traveling to Vegas for a weekend, seeing the city with new eyes. She had never been and he had an aversion to places centered around drinking and gambling.

He had been willing to make an exception though.

"She wouldn't move there out of sentiment. Especially not after learning that I'm not… that I'm not. Why Nevada?"

He tapped his fingers on the metal floor and frowned. There had to be something extremely obvious. There was always something, he just wasn't seeing it.

The elevator dinged and he looked up to see Gibbs stepping in. The older man froze and stared down at him in confusion.

"What are you doing in here?"

Tony shrugged. "Gathering my thoughts. You?"

Gibbs glanced over his shoulder at the empty hallway behind him, he had been searching the third floor for his missing friend, Abby's words still beating in his ears with every step.

"The same. Room for me?"

Tony scooted over and patted the space next to him.

"Always."

xxx

The home was empty when he stepped in. There was a rumpled blanket on the couch and pillows on the floor. A paper back novel open on the side table. It's pages bent open. He picked up the book and his eyes landed on the first line of the page. His eyebrows raised as he read it aloud, his voice quiet in the dark room.

"_Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what._"

"Sir?"

He waved his hand at the other man and set the book gently back on the table, careful not to lose the page.

"He's not here sir."

He looked up, his gaze settling on a picture on another table. The smiling faces reflected back at him and he nodded to himself. Of course.

"He's with the old man."

They left the apartment quietly and the other man sidled up to him.

"You sure he'll help?"

He stared forward.

"He will or he won't. But we will find him regardless."


End file.
